Tuesday, April 17, 2007


CHANGE. If there was one word to describe my life, that would be it. Things are changing, moving, ending, shifting & starting. New chapters are beginning & old ones are closing. This is an amazing time in my life, at times its heartbreaking, at others there's such joy I cant even describe, & sometimes I have to wonder if its all even real. But through it all God has been there with His unwavering grace, mercy, understanding, love, & perfect plan. I know I don't deserve all the blessings I have in my life - I'm not even sure if I understand all the pain either. But I do know that He is there giving me strength, loving me, promising me that He will never let me go. I'm trying to understand this whole grace thing, what it means to truly love, and what it means to be His follower, His child, His daughter. I know I'm still a work in progress; day in and day out I fail. I fall to my knees not knowing where to go or where to even begin. I long to just be in His presence; to be at a place where I can just let go of my pride, my fear, my dreams, my worry, my shame, my hopes. To just surrender it all.
Lord, where ever you take me. Where ever this path might lead me to. Teach me what it means to surrender it all. To search and find; to seek and be known by you. Father, please don't ever let go.



"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.
I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away. "

Ecclesiastes 3 : 1- 15