so last week i was able to hang out with an old friend i haven’t seen in a while. This person played such a big part in my life through out my childhood and even more so when i was in high school. i have memories of us together as far back as i can remember. Just being girls telling each other our most prized secrets, our hopes, dreams, our fears. we both grew up in totally different backgrounds and families but we always seemed to click. we shared a sisterhood/friendship that i thought would never be broken, looking back now i always figured she be a part of my life in some way, big or small. But heres the thing, time changed us. we both outgrew our childhood selves and moved on to who we were meant to become. We chose different paths... So there we were sitting at a coffie shop, myself wondering where time went. Thinking how our lives could have changed so much in just a couple of years. But what i realized that afternoon was that no matter where we both go in life, she will always hold a dear place in my heart. I thought things would be different, that we had changed too much. But we just picked it up as if those years apart didnt really happen. yeah we will both change and chose different paths in our lives but i made a decision long ago that i wanted to live and share life with this girl. yeah ill tell ya straight out, we're different; we do things different, we believe in different things, we live life differently. And despite our disagreements and views in life i still love her. And here's the thing ive always been told to live my life in love and love everyone in my life, and yeah i think that’s very true. But i really didnt grasp what that meaning of love was. I now understand that i have to love people for who they are and not judge them or even try to change them into who i want them to be. And the freedom i got when i realized that was so great, because i finally was able to love with out holding back, with out the restrictions that had tied me down in the past. Im not saying that this is something that will happen overnight, but its defiantly given me lots to think about. And work on.
And thinking about this just got me thinking of Christ (since He is the ultimate love) and his love for his children. How there is not restrictions to love when it comes to God. How He will Love you wherever your at. He will meet you there. This was such a hard concept for me to understand. Because i felt and at times still feel soo unworthy of His love. That i never felt that i was at a place that i was worthy of the blessings and love that He gave me in life. Thats when He taught me that lesson of grace. That to Him, i was worthy to be called His daughter. That no matter where ive been, or done, or even how bad ive messed up, He still loves me and will continue to persue me. Once i saw myself through His love i was able to begin to love myself. Something i never thought possible.